I decided I can’t keep posting about this pregnancy in 400 characters or less, and I figured I want to talk about some details that my broader FB friends may not want to see in their news feeds. Keep in mind, though, that I make no promises that I will be posting often. It’s been over a year!
Anyway, most people here know that I am pregnant with twins. I am 35 weeks today, and up until this past week, I was doing great and feeling great. Considering how warned I was about all the high risk things I was at risk for (with zero suggestions on what to do about them), I feel very fortunate to have made it as far as I have and to have done as well as I have. And I am even MORE grateful now that I have a sense of how miserable I could have been for several months. Because, frankly, the last few days have sucked.
I have an old hemorrhoid friend that has been around for several years (see, I warned you some people weren’t going to want to read this!), but he has tripled in size recently and is starting to be uncomfortable. At night, I had accepted the getting up to pee at least 4 times pattern, but the last few nights have included some really bad back pain. Is it possible to have a charlie horse in your lower back? I hadn’t known, until this pregnancy, that you could get them on your inner thigh! I desperately want to nap during the day and I am waddling like a penguin (especially if I wait too long to go to the bathroom). And I am finally starting to get a few stretch marks. :-( I didn’t really think I would luck out without them this time, like I did with Eleanor.
But all of that is fairly manageable. The new thing that is driving me nuts is the contractions. I’ve had days where I pushed myself too much and ended up having a few contractions that required me to hydrate and lie down. But this past week, they are happening much more frequently. And sometimes, THEY HURT!
I’m past the point where the doctors are going to do anything special if I go into labor (which I suppose is good, because it means the babies are developed enough to not have to worry), and the contractions have not made me think I’m going into labor. But they are uncomfortable. And even when I try to rest, they still hit me (though not as much).
What I’m a little frustrated about is the work situation. I have just enough disability/vacation/sick time to take 12 weeks off at half pay (yay, for the American system of maternity leave!). Any more time than that and I have to start paying for the full costs of my medical and other benefits, which is a lot of money. With Eleanor, I was more than ready to be back at work at 12 weeks, and I had originally planned to take only 10 weeks off with this pregnancy. And then we had that exciting day where our lives changed forever and we found out we were not having one, but two babies.
Frankly, I’m terrified. I’m mostly scared because I can’t predict just how well we will or will not adjust to the new little ones. Will I be able to breast feed? Will I get more than 20 minutes of sleep at a time? Will I be able to handle two babies on my own when Mike is working and our helpers and left?
So, not knowing the answers to these questions, I want as much time as possible learning to survive with the babies after they’re born. In other words, I don’t want to take any time off of work BEFORE they come, if I can help it. I knew bedrest was a possibility at any point, and, again, I am lucky to have made it this far, so I shouldn’t be complaining. But I am so exhausted by the end of my work day that I just want to go immediately to bed. When Mike is home, that is a possibility. But with this added contraction issue, it’s starting to get painful!
At this point, I’m doing desk work, so I could theoretically work from home. But I’m not sure the boss is going to allow that thanks to previous abusers and wanting to be “fair”. *sigh* I am going to propose that I come in from 9-12:30, so I can do things that require faxing/copying and colleague interaction, etc. Then go home over my lunch break and work on paperwork stuff for the rest of the afternoon (while stretched out on the couch, better able to rest the bod). At the end of the day, I will send an email to the bosses, summarizing what I accomplish, and proving that I did actually do work. I really hope they’re open to that. Not only do I not want to lose any maternity leave, I have a TON of patient letters that I would like to get done before I leave! The work is there, it needs to be taken care of, so let me do it! Or put a chaise lounge in my office!
Anyway, that’s where we stand today with this grand adventure. I am hopeful that Annabelle and Benjamin stay in their little home for another 2 weeks. And I am hopeful that a highly restful weekend leads to a more settled uterus. :-)
Love to all!
Thanks for more information. I’m amazed at how well you’re doing, working this long while carrying Annabelle and Benjamin. I hope your boss understands that he will get more work out of you if he lets you do the desk-work from home and won’t have to get someone to cover your duties quite as soon.
I think that the fact that you ARE a hard worker and try to hard to work with them and not agaist them says a lot about your charecter and that you are a hard worker no matter where you are. I mean if suddenly you play farmville 12 hrs a day that MIGHT set of some alarms but lets be honest you have worked harder and for longer then MANY people do whilst carrying twins. <3 I understand how scared you must be but please know that needing help is NOT a crime and that you are such a strong person (and always have been) that you can do this!!!
Yay for blogs. As with all things, this too shall pass. And you will adapt and do well and thrive. Thanks for the thoughtful blog post. Always nice to read.
Thanks, Guys. I appreciate all the support, and I really wish I had as much faith in me as you do. I totally believe that within a few months, life will have adjusted into a new “life as we know it” and we’ll look back and laugh at the craziness. But knowing “this, too, shall pass” is only a small consolation at this point!
Hi Sweetie, I talked to a young mother at Sams who had twins with her and a sibling about two years older. She said it’s been a happy adventure and not nearly as terrifying as she thought it would be. This will all be history soon:)