I always wanted a sister. I had 2 brothers (with three more added after I graduated high school) and innumerable male cousins and have always been surrounded by testosterone. In retrospect, I did spend summers at Gramma’s with an aunt who was only three years older than I am and we bickered and played like sisters. What I really wanted was an identical twin. I always thought that would be awesome! And even as a youth, I thought to myself, “With my luck, I’m gonna end up with twins for my kids!” Even then, I knew I did NOT want twins! I thought I would be jealous, and when I was pregnant with Eleanor, I pitied the lady in my yoga class who was pregnant with twins. I didn’t want the hardship of taking care of two babies! Hmmm.
When I found out I was pregnant in November, it felt different from the beginning. I had more nausea (as opposed to none with Eleanor) and I was showing earlier, but I kept telling myself that “every pregnancy is different” and it isn’t unusual to show earlier with a second pregnancy.
When I was scheduled for my first ultrasound I made multiple comments about wanting to see THE heartbeat and there better be only one. The day of my appointment, a colleague half jokingly said she thought I was having twins because I was starting to pop at only 9 weeks. Little did I know how right our suspicions were.
People still talk about the day I walked into the office, slammed my ultrasound picture down on that insightful colleagues desk, and told her this was HER fault! Everyone looked at the picture of two dark little circles with a fuzzy white bean in each and gave a polite “Awww…” followed by raised eyebrows and an “OH!” as they realized what they were really seeing. Much semi-hysterical laughter ensued.
It took me about 6 weeks to enter the acceptance phase of this news. I cannot imagine how difficult it would have been to find out at 20 weeks instead of nine. A lot of people don’t understand why I wasn’t thrilled from the very beginning. The thing is, I loved being pregnant with Eleanor. I was looking forward to being pregnant three times. That is less likely to happen now. And the pregnancy itself was more stressful because I was high risk multiple times over. Having kids every 2-3 years would have meant Eleanor would be starting kindergarten when kid #3 arrived, which means paying for only two kids in daycare at a time (goodbye paycheck with three!). Not to mention college costs when the time comes! Would I be able to make enough milk for two babies when I struggled with Eleanor? Would I ever sleep again?
I started reading books on pregnancy and raising twins and they only freaked me out more. I was seriously not happy about this twin thing!
By my last two months of pregnancy, though, I was actually getting excited about the babies. And I have to say, so far, the reality has been far better than I had feared. Annabelle and Benjamin are 1 month old today. They are eating machines and are plumping up nicely. Our nighttime routine has settled into something we can manage, and having family staying with us and taking a shift has been awesome. So the sleep deprivation hasn’t appeared just yet. And with a good night’s sleep, I can handle almost anything else.
Eleanor seems to love her Annabelle and Benjamin. She gives them hugs and likes to fetch diapers. I am really thrilled with how well she seems to be adjusting. Her routine is fairly unchanged. She heads to daycare everyday and still has her nice bedtime routine. The hardest days are weekends when we have to keep all three kids happy at the same time. It wouldn’t be so bad except it has been so hot that we can’t go outside during the day and, being two, Eleanor gets pretty restless. But, seriously, she is making me very proud with how good of a big sister she is.
As for the babies themselves, they aren’t doing a whole lot just yet. They are starting to wake up a little more, and I love to see their big eyes open, soaking in the world. Mike was playing with Annabelle today, making her “walk” around and dance. The expressions on their faces when we do that to them; furrowed brow, curled lip, scrunched up face. It cracks me up! As if they’re saying, “Um, I’m going to remember this humiliation when it’s time to pick out your nursing home!”
If Annabelle is hungry she will suck on anything she can get her mouth on, particularly if it is Benji’s head. She leaves cowlicks in his hair!
My Aunt Missy has been staying with us for the past week and a half. She has provided a soft, warm bosom for sleeping babies. I think Benji is in love. He’s definitely a boob man. The best part about having her stay with us is she has been taking the 3-7am night shift! Missy heads home Friday and then my dad will be with us for a week. We’ll see how helpful he can be!
After that, we’ll have 6 weeks of really doing this on our own before I head back to work. Hard to believe I’ll be back in the office on August 30th! Time flies.
Well, I should wrap this up. We’re having photos taken by a professional on Sunday. Hope to get some good shots out of it. I’m really excited to see what she makes of our family.
Love to all!
Always a pleasure. I always wanted twins. I thought Sean was two babies, but he was one really big baby. Your kids are so precious and I’m glad you’re sharing with us, both here and in FB. Thank you.